I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
