everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
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