guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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