I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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