Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
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my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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