Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Randomize
