Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
