Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
