I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
