carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
