We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
