her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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