i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize