I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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