i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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