Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Randomize
