i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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