He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
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