White coat. Heels.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
