Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
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