I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
