He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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