it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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