Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
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i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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