So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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