Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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