Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
It's never too late to be topless.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I wear drunk well.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
