he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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