so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
