just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
