Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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