there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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