if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
