WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize