I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
