you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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