But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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