Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
