Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize