she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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