I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
