The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Randomize
