So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Are we still banned from the library?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Randomize
