I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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