if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
She made me pour olive oil on her.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
