...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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