I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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