so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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