it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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