if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
