90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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