This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
