what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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