no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
