coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
