my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
