Just fell off a train. Bad.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
