I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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