And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
