This is not my ceiling
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
40s are totally the cure
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
